As a young teenage girl, I had wanted to go to New York and study dance. My ultimate dream was to be a Rocket.
My parents encouraged that dream as much as they could with words of affirmation. They assured me I could do anything I set my mind to do. They even said I had the legs for it.
My parents were poor and could never afford formal dance lessons. I had no idea how all of it was going to fall into place, but I knew it was what I wanted.
While other girls were dreaming of their wedding day, I was dreaming of the Big Apple.
My dream never came to be. I married extremely young and was mainly a stay at home mom.
I gave my heart to Jesus at 16-years-of-age, a month before I married. Over the years, while my three daughters were young and I was tending to them, I learned a lot about God, studied the Bible and listened to good teachers.
All those years I always felt a pull to go to college. I was a high-school dropout and never felt like I amounted to much. I would often say very self-loathing things to myself, and unfortunately, I listened to them. Whether I realized it or not, I listened.
To make matters worse, I never listened to the part of me that was crying out to be fed.
While feeding my family, I forgot to feed Charlotte.
Even though I was feeding on God’s word, I was still neglecting myself.
While I found salvation for my soul, I lost freedom. The freedom, I should have never lost.
In January of 2011, I started college and started the fulfilling of a twenty-seven-year-old dream!
I have since earned an AS, and am currently working on my BS.
I am finally ‘listening to myself’.
I celebrated my 52nd. Birthday on August 16th.
I started a regular yoga practice earlier this year, and I recommend for each individual to have his or her own yoga practice. Make it your own. Do not fall into the compare game, and do not be hard on yourself.
I have gained strength, softness, self-awareness, and an inner peace and beauty through the practice of yoga that I never knew existed.
I listen to my body and my spirit. I listen to and trust my intuitions.
While doing eagle today in my yoga practice I stood in front of the barre, in case I needed help balancing. If you need props, use them. Yoga is not about changing yourself, but learning to love yourself where you are. Use the props.
I had to use the barre on my first leg, but then something happened…I remembered when I was a young teenage girl, before all the lies, hurt and judgments. I knew I could do Eagle pose, maybe not perfect, but with some poise and grace.
While I will never be 14 years old again; I will always be that girl who loves dance, has a passion for freedom of expression and at that moment, I allowed myself that freedom. Maybe I always should.
I did Eagle Pose! I did it – to me anyways – with poise and grace. FREE!
Beautiful, free me.
It is as if God has given me that little room at Livewell in my hometown to be me.
Wild, sweet, playful, whimsical me.
I hope you will allow yourself to be the unique you, you are.
Go to your time before the world hurt you before you put limitations on yourself. Go there and be FREE!